The turbulence of our times demands strong selves with a clear sense of identity, competence, and worth.

— Nathaniel Branden, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

My Thoughts

I don’t really know if our times are more turbulent than any others. I appreciate that social media, the internet, algorithmic content, and many other factors contribute to how the turbulence of our times appears. But to me this statement is timeless. There probably has never been a time in history when strong selves with a clear sense of identity, competence, and worth wasn’t valuable.

I think there is an opposite thought to this in that there are more things than ever that erode our strong selves with a clear sense of identity, competence, and worth.

A master blacksmith 200 years ago didn’t have to concern himself too much with what other blacksmiths thousands of miles away were doing. And a lay person off the street was unlikely to have the means to even attempt to understand the proficiency of their blacksmith. Both could lead to an undermining of competence, worth, and even identity. Today, it’s the opposite: comparison is cheap and constant.

For many years of my life, really 30+ of my 39, I did not have a strong feeling of what my identity was. I flitted between them based on whims and present company. While I have often felt competent, I have just as often felt a lack of it. Even for identical tasks, on the same day, simply in different moods.

I made a foolhardy decision early on to tie my sense of worth to my income. Not my net worth, not my bank balance, not my parenting skills: my income. This has been one of the many ideas that has been the hardest to unwind. Even now, I sit earning far less than my peak, and every day that goes by is one in which I doubt my worth and capability.

Questions To Answer

This quote prompted me to ask many questions of myself. I hope it does the same to you. Here are some examples of questions I wanted to answer about myself after reading this section of the book:

  • Who are you? How would you define your identity right now?
  • Who do you want to be?
  • Is my identity tied to things fully within my control? At least influenced by my actions?
  • Is my worth tied to something worthy?